“When you say yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” I don’t know about you but sometimes I find myself telling people yes or being okay with what their request(s) are and by saying yes to them I’m saying no to myself. Let me explain that further… let’s take something as simple as a meal choice. I know I have a taste for steak…better yet, I’ve been craving steak. My friend and I have been planning to go to a steakhouse and last minute my friend changes his/her mind and wants Italian. Well, I oblige and we go eat Italian food. It may even be good Italian food but ultimately I said no to myself… I said no to my cravings… I said no to what my expectations were since we planned this in advance. We didn’t meet in the middle… I said no to myself.
Let’s take this a step further… you just enrolled in studies at a college. You were excited because you had been putting it off for so long because of the curves in the road called your life. Well, someone had other plans (maybe a spouse, partner, parent, etc.). They wanted to do something else that interfered with what you had going on… what you had set up. You decide to say yes to their plans and cancel your own plans to attend this college. You tell yourself that it will be okay and you could start at a later date but a later date never comes because then the next thing happens… then the next thing…
Let’s sit and think about this for a second, “When you say yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” You may have people in your life who expect you to go with “their” flow. You may feel like you can’t say no or you will disappoint someone. You may be that person putting everyone else’s needs and wants before your own. If you are… that’s okay but you never want to get lost in always saying yes to the point that you are always saying no to yourself. Today, take a moment of reflection… how often do you say yes to others and no to yourself? No worries, I’m guilty of it too… and I’m sure their may be a few people in my circle who have felt like they have said yes to me and no to themselves.
For the sake of peace and sanity…“When you say yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” All parties should be okay with and open to Communicating, Compromising, and Collaborating. Let this message sink in… practice a sit today. Find a quiet space to practice a 1-minute breathing exercise as follows:
Lower your eyes and notice where you feel your breath. That might be the air going in and out at your nostrils or the rise and fall of your chest or stomach. If you can’t feel anything, place your hand on your stomach and notice how your hand gently rises and falls with your breath. If you like, you can just lengthen the in breath and the out breath or just breathe naturally. Your body knows how to breathe.
Focus on your breath. When your mind wanders, as it will do, just bring your attention back to your breath. You might like to say ‘thinking’ when you notice your thoughts and just gently guide your attention back to your breath.
This can be done for longer than one minute. However, even for one minute it will allow you to pause and be in the moment. Or you might just like to breathe out stress on the out breath and breathe in peace on the in breath.
Until next time Kings & Queens,