November 1, 2020
Open Letter to my Boaz…
May 4, 2021

What is your definition of self-love? Often times we are taught to love everyone else first. As women we love our children, significant others, family, etc. and put everyones needs in front of our own. I’m not excluding my men out there so, don’t stop reading just yet, lol. For men, self-love tends to be difficult as well. Society and upbringing sometimes teaches men that they should mask their emotions, which then takes away from men taking care of themselves mentally. It can be a real challenge to love yourself, particularly if you don’t know how to go about the process.

Our very being and foundation should be built on self-love (and if you are a spiritual being- your foundation will first be built on that and then self-love). It is important that we take care of ourselves and love ourselves because there is no way that we could expect others to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves. Let’s unpack this a little, I asked what is self-love? Well, by definition self love is a “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).” People in my life can tell you that this is a big deal for me, lol. I try as often as possible to recognize the things and people that bring me happiness while also taking care of ME!

It’s my pleasure to share a few ways that I show myself love on an ongoing basis. Just a few tips and daily reminders to always show regard for MY well-being and happiness. Here we go… get your goggles and dive in and if you don’t swim, grab your cup to fill it up, lol.

1. Eliminate Negative Energy- Its important to clear out any negative thoughts of yourself and any crazy thoughts and opinions of others. You don’t have to fit a mold… do what makes you happy and let go of what others think.

2. Make TIME for yourself (Self-care)- Be conscious about using your time to focus on improving yourself and your happiness. I take trips alone, do things that I enjoy, pamper myself, read good books, listen to good music, dance, sing, try new foods, take nice candle lit baths, drink good wine, get massages, pedicures, hair maintenance, etc – just in case you needed some ideas, lol. Do the things you love…on purpose. Doing your favorite things can help increase your self-esteem and give you a feeling of purpose and increase happiness.

3. Reevaluate Friendships/Relationships- This is something that will be ongoing in your life. Every relationship isn’t meant to be forever. We have all heard of seasons and reasons, lol. Well, keep that same energy on rotation. Take a moment to reflect every now and again and acknowledge the people in your life. Do they bring you joy? Do they have positive energy? What direction are they moving in? Do they add value? Insert your own questions here _________, lol

4. Celebrate (even the small things)- It’s important to celebrate what our lives have to offer us, even the small things. We sometimes focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths. I challenge you to focus on one good thing every day and see if that doesn’t change how you feel about your self worth. Our journey called life is not always easy but it’s important that we celebrate what we are good at and offer love and compassion for the areas that we can improve upon.

5. Honor your Imperfections- My quote, “I am by no means perfect… I am perfectly imperfect.” Fontashia.

You Deserve to be HAPPY- This doesn’t mean happiness by someone else’s standards… but what truly makes YOU happy. I want you to remember that you deserve and are worthy enough to experience happiness. If you actively work towards your love goals you will begin to see the fruits of your labor because guess what? YOU ARE IMPORTANT!